Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth

of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network - 50 years earlier than the British".

One week later, the irish news, reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in a Dublin building site, Jack Lucknow, a self-taught

archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely bugger all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, ireland had already gone wireless."

Just makes you bloody proud to be an Irish

Why did the chicken cross the road?

---------------------




SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!




BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!



JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
the chickens on the other side of the road.



HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
about me.



GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or
not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.



DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?




COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.



BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.



AL GORE: I invented the chicken.



JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.



AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.



DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.



OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.



ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.



PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.



DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.



JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.



GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.



ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.



BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.



ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

CHURCHILL ON ISLAM

Unbelievable, but the speech below was written in 1899!

(check Wikipedia - The River War)


but expressed in the wonderful Churchillian turn of phrase and use of the English language,
He was a prophet in his own time; He died on 24 January 1965, at the grand old age of 90 and,


HERE IS THE SPEECH:

"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries!

Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog,

there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries,

improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce,

and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live.

A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement, the next of its

dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong

to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine,

must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be

a great power among men.

Individual Muslims may show splendid qualities, but the influence of the religion

paralyses the social development of those who follow it.

No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund,

Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread

throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step;

and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science,

the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilization of modern Europe

might fall, as fell the civilization of ancient Rome."

Sir Winston Churchill; (Source: The River War, first edition, Vol. II, pages 248-50 London)

Churchill saw it coming................

" He was a prophet in his own time " Just like Enoch Powell.

when i grow up i want to be a great adventurer and explorer just like my grandpa.
once when he was sailing single handed around the world a whale collided with his yacht and it started to take on water.he kept baling it out as fast as he could but the more he baled the more it kept pouring in. he kept this up night and day for 3 whole days, whilst looking for land.and then he saw it.but by now his yacht was water laden and sinking and sharks were circling all around.
as the yacht got lower and lower in the water so he climbed the mast to stay above water level.the lower it sank the more he climbed.- until he could climb no further. he was at the top and still the sharks were circling just waiting.he had to do something so he decided to dive into the water and swim to the shore as fast as he could.
just as he thought he was safe and lying exhausted on the beach a great white shark came in on a wave and grabbed him by the toe.
well. he wasnt about to give up now so he kicked and kicked at the sharks nose with his other foot until the shark let go and swam off.
my grandpa didnt tell fibs and i know this story and everything in it is true because he showed me his foot, and it had a toe missing. so that proves it!
regards
jkd

Jkd

What's the connection of that story with the earlier post's ? At first i thought it was a joke.

a
just talking to myself.
however since you ask what did you think second?
regards
jkd

Don't believe anybody, especialy if they are a close relative.

Toe missing , could have been frost bite while he was walking to the north pole wearing only a pair of welly's.

that was another one of his adventures(without the wellies) but maybe i will tell that story another time.
in the mean time how dare you 2 question my grandpa. every story and adventure he told me about can be proven .
regards
jkd

You might enjoy this - Fox News (US, Murdoch-owned) label Iraq as Egypt on Middle East map.

http://plixi.com/p/73294801

I was fascinated when hearing Cameron advising Hosni Mubarak to listen to the will of the people.

I wonder if he will apply his advice to his own fiefdom.

Just signed up to a free 3 month's offer from Lovefilm.com, will probably pay 5.99 per month for the 2 DVD's option , press report's that Amazon will buy them out.

Anybody on here signed up ?

I am Aldwickk, but I've not been very impressed with it. - Have had an awful lot of faulty discs, they send you a replacement, but it's frustrating to start watching a film, only to have it refuse to play half way through. Tried to watch Godfather 2 the other day, only got 30 minutes in before it gave up, glad I wasn't a lot further into it though.

I should get my first DVD tomorrow , what do you think is the problem ? poor quality control.

.

Frampton

found this review site. http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/internet-sites/lovefilm-com/1341249/

One thing that bothers me is that one reviewer said he had trouble playing the DVD's because they paste a paper lovefilm.com sticker on the DVD. my player says that these shouldn't be played.

Do they have their name pasted on ?

when my grandpa recovered from his beach ordeal he found he was on a desert island.
well, all that is, apart from the cannonballs who lived there.
he was there for 3 new moons, in darkness, and 3 full moons in light, before he came across them.well,he told me, he didnt have a watch with him so how else could he tell the time or record the days? i never thought of that before.
and then he saw them.the cannonballs.or rather they saw and found him for they already had the pot boiling.
to be continued
regards
jkd

Frampton

This is a better website

http://www.lovefilmreview.com/


It show's a DVD and the label is only small , so no problem, that other site i posted must be outdated as the label was covering all the disc

jkd

cannonballs are not alive , they are round iron ball's fired from a cannon. Your grandpa must have been still in shock from his ordeal.