Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Picture the scene, if you will.
Here i am on a wet Sunday morning, competing with the local church bells for the "how many people can I piss off" award for unneccesary noise in a neighbourhood full of hangovers. I am sat with my Gibson Les Paul, having finely tuned the pitch and amplification to a degree where dogs are running for cover and those trying to stay in bed with their pillows over their heads are shaken to the floor.
Into this scene of urban bliss walks one of my first encounters with the songs of the Gallagher brothers. My tastes to this point have been somewhat more gentle, getting no further than a splendid rendition of "Smoke on the Water" that has had my neighbours driving away still in their night attire (some people have no musical taste).
My point in writing this is that i never realised how bad guitarists Liam and Noel are!!
Their biggest hits, Wonderwall, Don't look back in anger, Cigarettes & Alcohol et al are mind-numbingly simple!! They should appear in the "Teach Yourself guitar" book just after the chapter on tuning up and before the one with Twinkle Twinkle little star in it.
Cut to the chase, the songs sound fantastic, so are there any other guitarists out there in MAM cyberland who can recommend other great sounding hits for a numpty guitarist like me to play.
Anyone who recommends anything by Jimmi Hendrix or Mark Knopfler doesn't understand the word numpty. (except "Romeo & Juliet", cos thats quite easy).
Suggestions please, cos I know my neighbours look forward to their free Sunday morning concerts.
Alan

Alan , filtered for saying Oasis are rubbish

al - ''sweet child of mine'', guns and rosses, what an intro!!! whole lotta rosie by acdc (angus young) only he plays half of it with his teeth!!! and of course ''rocking all over the world'' by status quo if you want an easy one, famous for knowing only 3 chords. lastly what about 'lisa radley' by the jam and you could change the words to suit somebody in your place of residence.

Jimmy,
Read what I said. i said they were crap on the guitar. the songs sound great!!!
Just exploring some Boomtown rats stuff now cos one or two in our street are still in bed.
Alan

you could change the words again, to ''i dont like sundays''

Nah, I've pinned down "Rat Trap", cos its easy.
Jammin session over now, got to go and have lunch with aged relatives.
Your right, though, Sundays aint no fun.
Alan

?
:)

How sweet

oops

Alan, you said on the SEO thread that you are a regular in the Masons on a Friday night, this is a blatant lie - the last time we had plungers on our knees was before New Year so you can't even have been there at the Resolution making meeting on 30 December when we decided no more plungers or fishnets. We are all in pink this season.
Kim

Secret branch, mate.
Lets just say our particular chapter is the perverse equivalent of Jehovahs witnesses.
Alan

Damn! I always wondered what was behind that door next to the bar, I always said I could hear moaning in there. Alf said it was the wind coming through the cellar.
Kim

alf was probably right !!!

:-D Where d'you find all these?! How do you add them to your post, I've tried the attatchment link and it doesn't work. (Could be my computer, I still have to fill it with coal)

ask driver, he taught most of us :)

Driver, you have a lot answer for!!
Kim

you're scaring me.



have one of these instead ;)

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,



"HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING

FOR WEEKS NOW"



HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;



"FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE AN ELECTRICIANS LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!"



THE WIFE ASKS,



"WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT."



TO WHICH HE REPLIED,



"FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE HOTPOINT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO."



FINE, SHE SAYS,



"THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?" THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK."



"I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX THE STEPS", HE SAYS. "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WOODIES DIY WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!! "



SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.



"HONEY", HE ASKS, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?"



SHE SAID,



"WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE."



HE SAID,



"SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?"



SHE REPLIED,



"HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE DELIA SMITH WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!"

nice one , baza.
when you're bored take a look at this. it left me open mouthed in amzement. i haven't been this impressed since i saw a version of the golden shot involving a thai girl and a balloon!!

would love to bang like this!!

one day ...........