Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

.A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates.



Have you ever done anything of particular merit? St Peter asked.



Well, I can think of one thing, the man offered. Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, threw it on the ground and yelled, Now, back off or youll answer to me!



St. Peter was impressed: When did this happen?



Just a couple minutes ago.

Not sure if I have sent this before ?

The wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the
Man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the
Sex God he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex
freak?"

The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon."

The husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and
tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this
wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him
violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own
pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming, "YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET! YOU
GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!"

Sorry chaps iv'e been away / busy,, and have neglected my duties.

Yes you have jimmy. That wall badly needs painting. Or is it in the flat that Baza is renovating????

I hadn't noticed the wall Al

jimmy b your birds are better than bosleys.



How do you stop a woman moaning?










Take her to bed.

I think bos puts up the feathered kind ,

i guess nobody liked my ass then :(

it was a bit too hairy for me bos, but the bush was excellent

oooo, a nice bit o' bush it was too :)

Stop talking twaddle ..

i think the poor girl needs someone to wipe that sand off her bottie. queue starts behind me .......

(jimmy, you have been missed!!)

How stupid are some people.
That is NOT how to wear a string vest.

Copied from another thread - sorry - but it brought a smile to my face.

Dont know how to make the link automatic - perhaps one of you clever ones can do that

http://www.toilette-humor.com/cartoon.html

http://www.toilette-humor.com/cartoon.html

Thank you bos (been busy) , hope all is well with your new baby .

I think I've got annorexia.
I was reading in the wifes magazine about it this morning, and apparantly people with annorexia have several symptoms. The main two symptoms are being underweight (which could never apply to me - I am the right weight for anyone 8'2" tall) and, the real tell tale symptom is that when they look in the mirror, they see a big fat mess looking back at them.
Well thats me!! Everytime I look in the mirror I see a big fat bloke, so I must be annorexic. The doctors heve been telling me for years to lose weight, and it turns out I'm annorexic!!!
Doctors! What do they know?

No Alan, I think you could be wrong, it may be your mirror that is the problem. I have a mirror which makes me look overweight, but I know that I am really thin and that is why my diet MUST consisit mainly of beer and burgers......and my wife needs to start wearing specs cos she says she can't see any problem with the mirror.

fine and dandy , jimmy. :))

Nice one bos , get the wet wipes out .