Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

What was that song by Michael Flanders & Donald Swann?....The Gas-man cometh? You could be in for a bad week as well Alan! If you haven't heard it I will try to remember the words: I think it started with not being able to turn the gas tap on so the Gas-man came and had to rip out the skirting boards, so on Tuesday the carpenter came round, the glazier on Wednesday because the carpenter broke the window etc.!
kim

Don't. I'm still smarting over the tyres!!!!!!!!!!1

Yea, they are a bit of a shocker, had to buy 2 fronts in January which I had at a discount (so I was told) cost 250. Don't do wheel spins anymore!! Look at the bright side though, at least you did no more damage when the tyre blew.
kim

True enough, but it still hurts when I'm told 135 plus fitting per tyre, oh and by the way sir, we recommend you change this one, this one and this one, your spares looking a bit ropey and we could really do with a night out at your cost, sir.
It's not me sir, its the ministry sir. Do you want us to lose our license sir.......................

What, no recommendation that you have a new exhaust whilst they fit the tyres? Garages in Leeds must be more user friendly than round here!!

No they tend to concentrate on discs, pads and track rod ends.
I think I'm gonna trade it in for something more economical to run, such as a small central american country.
Bloody thing costs me a mint to insure, fill up, service, repair, everything.
I sometimes think it would be cheaper to employ the Williams pit team on a full time basis.
Alan

Still, she is a beautiful car to drive around in :-)
Alan

I wish.

I was going to put a piccy of my car on here, but I can't find one that does it justice.
You'll just have to go to a Jaguar site and browse the XJ8 4.0 Sovereign LWB.

I have to make do with a lowly Ciroen C5 VTR these days now that my two-tone Rolls with the red bonnet and red roof has been stolen.....hang on a minute - Jimmy, where'd you get that picture?!

Its in my underground garage Kim ,i don't use it much my Butlers off sick.

If she dosen't come back to work soon she's sacked

I got a 19inch and I still can't get it all on.

Driver, not enough blood for both of you??? ;-)
Jimmy, I'm not surprised, poor girl, shell catch her death of cold, like that without her vest on.
Alan

Doesn't she realising there's a huge car bearing down on her? She's going to get a right camshafting.
kim

That was rather large , this is better, i don't see whats wrong with the uniform Al ,and Kim no more smutty jokes about getting camshafted or getting hit with the big end ,rear ended or anything else , its not clever and above all its chauvinist.

Phwor, I fancy those on my hood! (I mean the hood of my car of course Jimmy - I am a reformed character).
kim

Food for thought while we are working!!


A father came home and found his three children were outside, still
in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had
been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring out a cartoon, and the
family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled
on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled
on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile
of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles
of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or
that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle
of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered
inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over
the floor.

Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over
the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his
wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come
home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."