Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

The sun is out, the swallows have arrived - everything was great, then Jimmy goes and makes his profound statement: suddenly I'm depressed. Why the hell didn't I think of that?
kim

There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the
marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not
having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm
gal.

The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away
or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had
discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile.

Well the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control
she planned to use. Her answer was, the rhythm method. That will
work said the counselor if you keep a good record.

He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I plan on
using birth control pills she said. Again he said, yes that will
work as long as you don't forget to take them.

He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using.
Her answer was the pail and saucer method. After a short delay, he
again told her that should also work.

He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a
follow up on how things were going.

They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant.
Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet.

Well the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what
went wrong. She replied that she used the rhythm method but somehow
got her notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby.

He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied,
the birth control pill but we were camping and I didn't have my
pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby.

He turns to the farm gal and told her, "I vaguely remember you
were going to use the pail and saucer method. Now I must admit that I
don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is. Will you
explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you".

She replied, "Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a
bit taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down.
Now as we are making love, I closely watch his eyes, and when his eyes get
as big as saucers........I just kick the pail out from under him".

:))

Many Happy Returns, Bos.
I will be over for the party, bringing a family bag of twiglets and a cheap bottle of Asti Spumanti. ;-)
Alan

noooooo, not more spumanti!!! got a bloody cupboard full of that crap. bring big ron (bacardi) with you and i'll provide the coke 'n' ice.

and crisps

Got a lovely bottle of Havana Club in the cupboard that I brought back from Cuba. (Its the bottle I brought back, not the cupboard.)

that'll do:))

speaking of cuba, just heaved a few havanas out this morning ........

Too much detail!!!!!
We refer to it as "giving birth to a traffic warden".........

Happy birthday Bosley - have as much jelly as you can eat (you have to set a good example now!)

Alan, that is racist. I did not think you were capable of such a remark. Traffic Wardens are the pillars of society.

Scientists have started using traffic wardens instead of rats for many experiments.
There are three reasons:
Traffic wardens are more plentiful than rats.
Scientists get less attached to the traffic wardens than they did to the rats.
There are some things even a rat won't do.

A restaurant full of traffic wardens was held hostage.
The bad guys threatened that, until all their demands were met, they would release one traffic warden every hour.

:-)))

too much detail, alan.??? you're lucky i didn't post last tuesday when i had a stomach virus ........ it was like bloody etna had erupted!!!

Too right Alan - you were very lucky.

Happy Birthday EG :)

Woodie cleverly used the other thread to put you of track so I have posted it on here take note of the time LOL.

WOODIE - 11 Apr 2006 07:18 - 7 of 9
i started the original thread before this company come to market ,being offered shares at 2.5 pence, at the time it was a good trading play sold out after a few months,but now i agree with scrip anyone wanting to buy these shares i would ask you to look at the rnss that have been released since they come to market and you will see, not much headway has been done it terms of revenue.i would avoided.

driver - 11 Apr 2006 11:53 - 8 of 9
WOODIE
Any other shares you are avoiding UBT are up 47.8%

I would be very grateful to hear of any news (good?) if possible,on Gravity diamonds.

This sort of news?:-


GRAVITY DIAMONDS LIMITED

(ASX & AIM : GRN)

10 April 2006


GRAVITY TO START EXTENSIVE 2006 AEROMAGNETIC SURVEY
OVER FURTHER BLOCKS OF KASAI CRATON IN DRC



Please refer to the attached PDF for the latest DRC project update of Gravity
Diamonds Limited.


Paste the following link into your web browser to download the PDF document
related to this announcement:

http://www.rns-pdf.londonstockexchange.com/rns/2617b_-2006-4-10.pdf

Or the sort my wife gave me yesterday - "If you don't get me a diamond by the weekend, you will not begin to comprehend the gravity of the situation."
kim

Diamonds are only bits of coal that got lucky

That's what I told my wife before she threw her gift on the fire.

Well it's nice to know that chocolate's good for the heart.
So I'm doing my bit now.