Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

lads, i wasn't talking about farting. i was thinking more about the big shit i had this morning. 'kin stank it did !!! :))

Zinedine Zidane has been banned for three games and fined 3,260 for head-butting Italy's Marco Materazzi during the World Cup final.
Following an investigation by world governing body Fifa, Materazzi was suspended for two games and fined 2,170 for provoking Zidane.

A Fifa statement said: "Both players stressed Materazzi's comments had been defamatory but not of a racist nature."

Zidane's ban is academic as he retired from football after the finals.

However the 34-year-old will instead work with football's world governing body Fifa for three days.

Fifa added: "Zinedine Zidane has agreed to do community service work with children and youngsters.

"During the course of their hearings both players also apologised to Fifa for their inappropriate behaviour and expressed their regret at the incident."

Zidane spent 90 minutes at a private hearing on Thursday, while Materazzi appeared before the Fifa panel on 14 July.

Playing in the last game of his career, Zidane snapped during extra time of the World Cup final.

The Frenchman later claimed Materazzi had insulted his mother and his sister.

However, Materazzi maintained his comments were not "racist, religious, or political" and he added: "I also said nothing about his mother."

Despite the incident, Zidane went on to win the Golden Ball for the tournament's best player and despite suggestions to the contrary, Fifa has confirmed the Frenchman will be allowed to keep the award.

"It wasn't even discussed at the meeting," said Fifa spokesman Andreas Herren.

Materazzi's suspension will keep him out of Italy's opening two Euro 2008 qualifiers against Lithuania on 2 September and France on 6 September.

Paolo Maldini, captain of AC Milan and former captain of Italy's national team criticised Fifa's suspension of Materazzi.

"It's scandalous to suspend a player for having said something.

"It's the first time it's been done and it's only because Materazzi is Italian and because they wanted to justify the action of Zidane who was in the wrong."

But French Football Federation president Jean-Pierre Escalettes, supported Fifa's verdict.

"It is intelligent, measured and reasonable," said Escalettes.

"It shows knowledge of the world of football.The provoker of the incident has been punished."

i find this absolutely incredible!!!! what a joke!!!

Wonder wot happened to me pic, it was there before!!

Materazzi should be relegated to Serie C ;-)

Perhaps he already has :-) ??

bos

http://ihimlen.dk/flash/prutjulesang.htm

driver, lol.

interesting question.

I love my pussy :)

From the BBC Web Site (safe to download)

Screensaver 2006
The stars of 2006: Toto, Duma, Chui and the Marsh lions.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/programmes/tv/bcd/screensaver/download/bigcat06_win.exe

Oi,!!!,,, bos take your football back to the football thread ,this is for much more serious issues ..

serious issues??? like what, jimmy ? ;)

Like these .

Don't forget cats.

Come on people CAT's - thought this was about sensible subjects whats current in the news. That can we debate in a candid, light hearted and complely unrealistic way.
Perhaps cat burgers? a tastey alternative to lamb?????

Mind you last last pic does look like my mrs

Cat burgers could never be a tasty alternative to lamb, Marc; too much meat in the diet. But try telling that to my local kebab shop!

jimmy, good point well put!!

I didnt think local kebab shops were all that fussy what meat they sell. Come to think of it is it really meat at all? I only ever eat them at the wrong end of a bacardi bottle.
I do have this vague memory of staggering into my local kebab shop last weekend but no recolection at all of any taste!!!!

Now why can't Jamie Oliver be that interesting, instead of being a pathetic pratt.
Alan

Wasn't it "Tabby Twizzlers" he campaigned against, Al? Or Tortoiseshell Twizzlers, possibly?

Golf Tragedy Averted


Ernesto y El Jefe

At dawn, the telephone rings... "Hello, Senor Smith? This is Ernesto.the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Uh...I'm just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died.

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International speaking competition?"

"Si, Senor.that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat, Senor."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed the parrot rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor, he ate the meat of your dead horse!"

"Dead horse? What dead horse?!"

"The thoroughbred that won the Breeders Cup, Senor Smith. He died from a heart attack pulling the big water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor!"

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the...!! There's electricity at the house!! What the hell was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"

"Your wife's, Senor...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief. So I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike driver."

A long pause of complete silence... "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"