Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

It was a thought experiment. he was just going through the motions

Dirty beast!

Twas the happiest day of my life.
I arrived at the church, bang on time, and took my place in the front pew, adjusting my tie and checking I looked my best, as friends and relatives came and wished me well.
Then the wife arrived, slowly getting to the front of the aisle.
I looked at her with her finest make up on and so beautifully dressed and a tear welled in my eye as I thought of all the happiness to come, and the care free joy that the future held.
Then I kissed her, gently on the cheek, and closed the lid.

Al, you're a sick man.




And that's what I like about you !!

beautiful, alan, simply beautiful. moved to tears i wuz.

Ah, but did it ring any bells with anyone??
Shock, horror, could I be putting mans darkest desires into words???
During our recent house hunting phase, we drew up a list of essential features of our new home. Top of my list was one without a patio, so I had somewhere to dispose of the corpse.

when we were doing our house up we lived with my folks for about a year. next door was a retired couple, both of them miserable bastards ....... or so it seemed. we had been living there for about 6 months when the old dear died suddenly. we expected her husband to be an even bigger miserable git now, but, within two months he had got rid of all her stuff, her car, the lot. he then went and treated himself to a nice two-seater sports convertible, changed his wardrobe and was very happy and friendly to everyone. well, it made us wonder ..........

Any tips from anyone on getting rid of mine (got to be careful she posts on here aswell)

Marc, tell her you have just had a red hot tip (you may wish to re-phrase that!) and that she should put all her cash in Stanelco, relax, and watch the sp rise to 25 by the end of the month. Or, actually if you just make up a story about your red hot tip, that might just do the trick!
kim

marc, let her catch you 'taters deep with a prozzie. that usually does the trick. also, if that doesn't work and she stays with you , then she obviously doesn't mind ..... so either way you win :)

I've just been consulting my "Book of 10000 facts you don't need", and there is a section on the history of Mr Universe.
Do you realise that every single winner has been from Earth?
I think its a fix.

Al, you're dead right. You know how they do it? They've sneakily arranged to have only Earthlings on the judging panel.

lubbly ;))

marc, i guess she didn't approve , then .......

feckin' great having a saturday off. just having a bit of a cold meats and cheese dinner, (or lunch for the pedants :P). anyone want an olive?

Mmmm



Wet olives with a dash of hot cauliflower creamy bits :)

prefer my olives nice and plain .... with a fresh bit o' bread. mmmmm

anyways, waddya fancy first? red or white?

Guess ;)

blimey!! i didn't think you'd be that fussy ;)

got a gig this afternoon :)