Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Count Dracula is on the pull in Glasgow. He spends the night drinking Bloody Mary's in various clubs and biting on unsuspecting women's necks.

He's heading for home, along Argyle Street sometime before dawn.

Suddenly he's hit on the back of the head. He looks round and sees nothing. He looks down and sees a small sausage roll. Mmmm, he thinks. What's going on here?

A few yards further on and........BANG. Smacked on the back of the head again! He whirls round as quick as he can - nothing. Again he looks down and there's a small triangular sandwich lying on the ground. How odd!

A few more yards further along the street and........crash. Smacked on the back of the head yet again! He whirls round as quick as he can - nothing. He's getting really angry now. Again he
looks down and there's a cocktail sausage lying on the ground. He stands and peers into the darkness of the night. Nothing.

He walks a few yards further along again when he gets a tap on the shoulder. With a swirl of his cape and a cloud of mist he turns as fast as he can. He feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls to the ground clutching his chest, which is punctured by a small cocktail stick laden with a chunk of cheese and a pickled onion.

On the ground dying, he looks up and sees a young female. With his dying breath he gasps, "Who the hell are you?"


Wait for it...


Are you ready?...


Brace yourself...


This'll make your day...




... "BUFFET, the vampire slayer."

excellent bos , winging its way around the world

Ceres Power (CWR) will demo its fuel cell boiler in September at their offices- could be on the brink of something BIG as mass manufacturing talks are well on the way

And I wondered why there was a "talk to yourself" thread ;o)

Hands up those that are surprised re the CPS decision that no one is to be charged over the Cash for Honors farce.
In my last job the CPS were referred to as The Criminal Protection Society.
How can a final decision be taken by persons put in the job by those possibly involved. Conflict of interest!
Talk about you scratch my back.
Government more corrupt than ever.
At least we can once again trust the BBC as they are all being sent on How to be Honest Courses.
I understand on completion of these courses there will be new programme where you can vote for which presenter has the most honest looking face.
If it was the ordinary man/woman in the street, there would be corruption, fraud charges pouring through the letter box.
Cynicism rules. OK.

Takes some believing (well I thought so anyway).

Names have not been mentioned to protect the guilty.

Having a dispute with a Solicitor re a legacy left to my wife.

The basis of the dispute is as follows.

The solicitor (sole executor) took about 5 months to finalize a will.
He did not answer requests for account details involved (5 requests over 4 weeks) and admits to not chasing up a building society for 8 weeks after a none reply to an initial inquiry.
I have evidence to this from the solicitor himself, via an E-Mail.
Eventually I contacted the Building Society myself who quickly admitted that one delay was partly their fault and quickly offered compensation (after a threat of the FSA).
Not so the solicitors firm. I made a formal complaint to the solicitors firm.
I received a reply stating that, they do not act for the beneficiary (which I was aware of), and that they only have responsibility and duty to their client the executor.
On contacting the senior partner I had the following conversation.

Q "Can you confirm that you only have a duty to the executor"
R "Yes"
Q "Can you confirm you are the sole executor"
R " I'm not sure without looking at the file"
Q " I can confirm that you are the sole executor, so if so can you confirm that you are your own client"
R " Yes".
Q " So you are stating that you only have responsibility to yourself and no one else"
R " Yes"
Q "So you are only answerable to yourself"
R " We are only responsible to the executor who is our client".
Q " But you are the sole executor, so it follows you are your own client"

At this stage he became a bit stroppy. I think he realized I was one of those people that solicitors don't frighten.

It was at this stage I informed him I was taking this to the Law Society.
In my opinion the above could be the script for a Monty Python sketch.
I feel that the client is in the first place the person who made the will. The solicitors responsibility can't end on the death surely.

You couldn't make it up.

If the Law Society disagree with me and side with the solicitor I will take this as far as it can go.

As a foot note. Within 4 days of me chasing the Building Society the money was released to the solicitor, who 3 days later released it to my wife.

We pay these people well over the odds for a service which is often totally inept.

Priceless Greek, couldn't agree more! I have come across many solicitors in my life who have been exactly like the one you dealt with; having said that there are also just as many who are completely the opposite......I would like to think that the majority are not on the 'dark side' but would not be overwhelmingly surprise to find that is not the case!!

This solicitor sounds like a fool.

He was surely wrong in saying he only had responsibility and duty to his client, the executor.

The Executor has a responsibility to The Estate and the beneficiaries.

If he is also the Executor it follows he has a duty to the Estate and a responsability to discharge the wishes of the deceased.

See here:-

http://www.willsprobate.co.uk/executors.html

'Once the grant has been issued it gives the executor the legal right to deal with the assets of the estate in accordance with the wishes of the deceased. This may involve the sale of property, the liquidation of shares and calling in the balance on bank accounts. Once the assets are realised and all debts including tax are paid the executor must distribute the residual estate to the beneficiaries. Executors must be extremely cautious about the way in which they deal with matters and must remember that they have a responsibility for tax and a responsibility to the beneficiaries.'

In common law, everyone owes a duty of care to his neighbour.
His neighbour being defined as anyone who should reasonably have been in his thoughts when he acted or omitted to act.
From that I would say that he would struggle to say he did not owe a duty of care, but he could probably argue that no damage has resulted.
I'm not a legal type though, thank God.

Looks like the Tour De France is going to be keeping a few solicitors busy. The way things are going, it will have to be renamed 'Rout De France'

Oblomov,

I agree the solicitor sounds like a fool, and he is a senior partner.
If I did not have the letter stating his comments, re client responsibility, executor etc, I would find it hard to believe a solicitor could leave himself so open to challenge.

The solicitor actually dealing with the Will in one of his E-Mail replies stated, something to the effect, On contacting......I had not received a reply, until I contacted them again (some 8 weeks later) so he is admitting he let mattes rest for 8 weeks. I feel he has shot himself in the foot, by admitting this.

Also thanks very much for the link.

If it goes to court greekman ,make sure you have the right judge.

Oooo Jimmy, she can hold my gavel anytime.

Jimmy,

If she was the Judge, and the penalty was 100 lashes, tied to a bed (whipped with celery and whilst wearing a flying helmet, for fans of Allo, Allo), you could find me guilty anytime.
I could make a joke about penal servitude, but this is a family show, so I won't.

It,s summer at last ,that means the mini skirt is back ,,shouldn't be allowed .

You're right Jimmy, it shouldn't be allowed, it should be damn well compulsory.

i saw plenty of that last week on me hols :))

this is what i love most about youtube, stumbling across a classic i had forgotten all about.

ma heart was broken. sorrow, sorrow

fantastic song :)

Compulsory! Now if a political party put this on the NHS (Please), what a vote winner.
By the way, it's not a mini skirt, it's a pelmit.

I read a long report over the weekend, re causes of road accidents (I'm a retired driving instructor). Funny how there are no figures for, the number of accidents caused by sexily dressed females. I remember when I first saw such a girl in Hot pants (No Jimmy, please I just can't stand it), I was a passenger in a car, and the driver very nearly drove through a shop door.

I try to fully concentrate on the road ahead, really I do, but on a serious note, they must be the cause of distraction. Not blaming them at all, but I wonder what the percentage is, IE accidents caused by beautiful, sexy females, and those caused by the ugly ones.

Just so the political correct brigade don't track me down, I would like to state that as soon as I saw the above picture I thought, 'OK a great body, but beauty is only skin deep, I would probably just want to talk to her to find out what she is really like. I would be interested in her thoughts, views, feelings.
'YER RIGHT!
I know what its like to be wanted just for my body. Well I can dream can't I?

That's not a pelmet Greek, it's a bandage..............already available on the NHS, yipee!