Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Hi Alan, I agree with all you've written. The suggestions are a sign that tougher action may be brought in eventually and the Tories are certainly making the right noises. Big problem is the old EU Human Rights Act which enables the offenders to sue anyone who lays a finger on them--even the man on the street trying to stop a situation. I heard a statement this weekend from the normally quiet A /bishop of Canterbury speaking out about the easy availability of abortion on demand---as first resort rather than changing lifestyle. A woman in our local hospital for instance recently came in for her 7th termination! Alan for PM---I say!!

The main problem re what the Tories may bring in/change is the well known fact (here we go again, well it's well known to me anyway) that the best party is always the one in opposition (not counting the liberal democrats of course) as they can promise anything. Just look what this government promised the electorate pre elections.
In my book they all pig from the same trough.
Saying that I will be voting Tory next time purely to get this lot out. They can't do as much damage to the country as this lot have done, can they???
It's a shame the Monster Raving Loony party are no more, but looking at the Labour party they appear to be similar with just the monster part missing.
We are still a democracy but more in name than deed. Politicians have no moral fiber or standing, they lie through their teeth, and get away with it.
Notice how they are never corrupt, they only make errors of judgment.
Come the reckoning brothers. Banners at the ready.
Blimey, I thought Alan was the ranter on here.

Greek,

'It's a shame the Monster Raving Loony party are no more'

http://www.omrlp.com/index.php?page=a-message-from-our-leader

They're still going strong(ish!), and some very fine policies they have, as well!

Included in their Manifesto proposals:-

All socks to be sold in packs of 3 as a precaution against losing one.

It is proposed to systematicly destroy all wire coat hangers.

Underpants to be fitted with catalytic converters to reduce the amount of harmful emissions into the atmosphere.

The European Constitution which will be sorted out by going for a long Walk. "As everyone knows that walking is good for the constitution"

Separate Passports for Terrorists: Terrorists should be required (by virtue of law) to apply for separate passports in which they give there full contact details, number of explosives, and time (as well as location) of any plot. This would save time and money in gathering intelligence, and could also help identify the intended ambition(s) behind any atrocity(s).

It is proposed that the Isle of Man be renamed to "The Isle of Men, Women, Children and some Animals" as not just men live there.

Health
We will combat stress by abolishing Mondays ands having two Saturdays. Further reducing stress we will introduce the third class stamp. By the time your letter arrives the problem will have disappeared.

It is proposed to declare the Channel Tunnel a No Fly Zone.

It is proposed that people should have a free go on the national lottery when they go and vote.

Policy on Iraq: Since Iraq needs to have a proper infrastructure before they can run their own country, I propose we send our traffic wardens out to Iraq to give tickets to American Jeeps and Tanks illegally parked thereby raising much needed revenue for the Iraq government (and giving us a much needed break!)

Prescott Day
Since we have Guy Fawkes day because Fawkes ATTEMPTED to destroy Parliament (Penny for the Guy, mate!) and we burn effigies of Fawkes, should we not have a John Prescott day for SUCCEEDING in destroying Parliament, well credibility at least (Penny for the John, mate!) and we could throw John on the bonfire.

Lucky Month.
We propose to create 13th month, to get all those little things out of the way. The things you just never had time to do... like take out the trash, vote in a general election, learn Latin...
Another benefit would be that all monthly paid earners would receive an extra months pay.

The Loch Ness Monster should be added to the endangered species list.

All asylum seekers would be allowed to stay as long as they can tell a
good joke.

In order to reduce polution all cars must have their engines removed, instead they should have holes in the bottom where people can put their feet and run along.

Women's football
To get more men to watch women's football all players should have to swap shirts at the end of games (or better still, every time they kick the ball?)



More here:-

http://www.omrlp.com/index.php?page=manifesto-proposals

Ob,

A great funny read on a grotty day. With such a great manifesto, will obviously still vote for them.

It was revealed yesterday that when foreign nationals are sentenced to prison they are given the choice of whether they would like to serve their sentence in this country or their own. Yes you heard it right, THEY ARE GIVEN THE CHOICE.
Less than 200 have chosen to return to their own country to complete their sentences.
Figures earlier this year showed that foreign prisoners now make up one in seven of Britains jail population and cost the taxpayer almost 400 million a year to keep.
Incredibly, at least 21 such convicts sent to the two special jails have themselves been freed under the early release scheme - and given up to 174 in spending money.
More than 11,000 of the 81,000 prison population are foreign nationals.
These prisoners cost us the tax payer over 30,000 per year each.

Perhaps we should go further and give them the choice of cells, perhaps a south facing window and a balcony complete with room service would go down well.

No wonder this country is fast becoming the laughing stock of the world.

The Human Right Act (or more correctly the way this government interprets it) has a lot to answer for.

I know it's another rant but I get so annoyed.

Get McDonalds to do the prison catering - they'd opt to serve the sentence in their own countries then.

Come to think of it, it would be a great deterrent all round. The prisons would be half empty in no time!

I hope scientists discover intelligent life in the universe, cos there's precious little of it here on earth.

Alan, you ought to visit the south more often.

OB,

But most prisoners think a Big Mac stands for Methadone, Acid (LSD) and Cocaine.
But I suppose if it's served in a bun with salad they would at least be eating something nutritious.

Ob,
I must tell you I even have friends in the far south. Some are from as far south as Nottingham.
They tell me there is something further down the M1, but all they can tell me is to show me Photos of some mythological place where the afflicted are sent to mindlessly walk around mazes of concrete and steel. A place so likely to upset a balanced mind even the farm animals are of concrete construction (it is rumoured these are the cows McD uses for its burgers). They tell me it is called Milton Keynes, but I doubt it really exists.
It is for this reason that we have not ventured further into these realms. Beware; Here Be Dragons.

Alan,

Reading your bit about "where the afflicted are sent to mindlessly walk around mazes of concrete and steel. A place so likely to upset a balanced mind" I thought you were talking about the Houses Of Parliament until I read further.
And the line, There be dragons.....Have you see the female labor MPs.

It could equally be Doncaster. Chav central

We have dragons in Wales...........and sheep...............

Alan,

Milton Keynes was built to ease travellers gently into what they could expect as they journeyed north and reduce the shock!

It isn't all concrete and steel down here - look at this picture of my garden.

Al come down to Hastings ,its so far south you'll be unconsious by the time you get here,,,,,, also were so far behind the times this is what comes up if you go on the local Estate Agents website looking for detatched properties..

This is the street i was born in ,,in fact thats my sister playing with a hoop and a stick in the road..

After quite a bit of golf lessons, I finally took my 7 year old son for his first round the other day. And how proud am I??
I am no golfer, so I am not in a position to judge, but he went round our local 18 hole municipal course in 135 shots.
I am so delighted I am putting it on here!!! 135 is a lot of shots, but he is only 7, and managed to get a 9 on the 540 yard par 5!!
Watch out Tiger. Eddy is on your stripey tail.

Alan,

First of all, Well Done to your son.
I have only played about 5 times and when I did hit the ball I was told that I had a very powerful swing as the ball traveled a good distance. The problem I had was it took about 10 swings to hit the B....y thing.
I was like the guy you see in the comedy sketches, the one who digs so deep in the bunker he ends up in a 6' hole.
I never did become interest in playing but do love to watch the big matches on TV.
If you look at most sport champions, they do start early, so all the best to Eddy. I hope he keeps it up.

Alan - did you count the airshots? Also very kind to give him putts of under three feet. Encourage him as it is the greatest game, particularly good imo if played properly for developing mental strength. I played to my lowest handicap (7) before I left school and since retirement 5 years ago determined to get back into single figures. Made it to 10 very briefly, but now 11.1 and rising.

I have just been e-mailed by The Book Depository to buy a copy of 'Austerity Britain', 1945-1951 by David Kynaston.

Since I was born just before the end of the war, this period covers my early childhood and, since it is superbly written and has excellent photographs, would obviously stimulate some quite fond memories for me. I was thus tempted to read the reviews and, since they are very interesting, I reproduce just some of them below for your amusement:

What particularly stands out is how much different the nation was back then. The Britain that emerges from these pages is a nation driven by an industrial economy, with an overwhelmingly white and predominantly male workforce in physically demanding jobs producing a quarter of the world's manufactured goods. The everyday lives of these Britons was different as well, lacking not only the modern conveniences that the author notes early in the text but even many of the basics of prewar life, basics which had been sacrificed to the exigencies of war.

.....

We had won the war but the peace was tougher than the war for a lot of people. Rationing went on for years and the old attitudes in society did not break down quickly enough.

I did not start to take notice of what was going on in society until about 1963 and the attitudes that are set out in this book certainly prevailed for thr next twenty years. All the old threadbare cliches of privilege and what society was all about still existed.

In 1946 the National Trust had a meeting and one of their representatives said about Montacute House in somerset that the public could not of course be admitted to the house because they smelt. There was two minutes dead silence.

People did smell in 1946 if you read about their washing an living conditions.

Housing was a big priority then as now Neil Kinnock's family moved in November 1947 to a new two bed-roomed prefab on a council estate in Nant-y Bwch It was like moving to Beverly Hills he recalled It had a fridge, a bath, central heating and a smokeless grate... and people used to come just to look at it.

The BBC was holding up standards as always and banned in 1948 jokes about lavatories, effeminacy in men, immorality of any kind.Extreme care should be taken about certain references such as pre natal influences(e.g. his mother was frightened by a donkey and marital infidelity.

The public's views on extra marital sex were recorded. One taxi proprietor said I may say my wife and I have dropped one or two people who weren't playing the game ,we didn't think they were worth knowing.

It is an interesting old fashioned view that you would ostracise people for immorality. You would be ploughing a lonely furrow now if you did that.

In economic terms there was lot of price fixing and when proper competition came later British industry were not up to it because they had had such cosy arrangements.

There were standards to be maintained and a lot of people saw themselves as gentleman and had a code Shoes have laces, motor cars are black jelly is not officer's food. People believed this stuff.

Price fixing was everywhere between such companies as Lyons and Wall's in ice creams. Selling was a gentleman's existence with Sheffield operating as a big cartel. Orders were reported to the respective trade and association committee and at the end the day they would tell you what prices to quote. The price fixing was incredible.

British industry was not prepared to follow the American gospel of productivity and the 3 Ss standardisation, simplification specialisation.

In education only those who passed the eleven plus were deemed fit for a decent education and people like Cliff Richard did not pass and neither did John Prescott and the author said did not get the bike and thereafter never quite forgave the world.

All these attitudes were alive and well right through my teens in the sixties and well into the seventies. Some of them are still around now sixty years later.

If you want to understand present day Britain this is the book for you and at 632 pages before you get to the notes and index it is a hefty read but well worth it.

I will be quoting it to all those who think today's problems are some how unique.

We have seen it all before.

....

The subject of the decline of Britain's place in the world has a special interest for Americans, who wonder if it's their turn next. In 1945 a quarter of the world was ruled by King George, Emperor of India, Liege Lord of Canada etc. The Union Jack flew over Jerusalem and Hong Kong. Britain had stood for the world against Hitler and had won. Yet the British found that they were poverty-stricken. There were many theories to account for this. A favorite theory for Americans was that it was due to the British embrace of socialism and government controls.

Apparently Amazon have it available at 17.74 incl delivery. I might just treat myself. :-)