Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

I`ll join you.

Just discovered a problem with asylum in Zimbabwe.
You have to show you are persecuted in your home country.
I am a smoker and I drive a big car, so no problem for me. What about you?????

Apparently, in Zimbabwe the Military Junta are sharing power with Mugabe, so it might be an idea to stay here instead.

:-(

If this information is correct, then God help Ronaldo:

Cristiano Ronaldo has refused to sanction a visit from Sir Alex Ferguson to Portugal's Euro 2008 training base in Switzerland.

Ferguson was willing to cut short a holiday in France to attempt to convince his player to stay at Old Trafford and even had the blessing of his counterpart with Portugal should the winger agree.

But Ronaldo reportedly told his teammates that Ferguson is not welcome, ..... MORE

Breaking News..................

Ireland has suffered its worst ever air crash.
A twin seater Cessna has crashed into a cemetary in Donegal. Rescue workers have so far found 138 bodies, but say excavation work may take days with many more still buried.
More to follow.........................

Can you tell I'm bored??????

Somebody cheer me up please.
I would be particularly interested to read any opinion polls on who the public think would make the most popular prime minister. Gordon Brown, David Cameron or Osama bin Laden. With the state of UK politics I've got a fiver on with Ladbrokes that it will be Osama.
Short odds though.

Wish I hadn't had a go at the NHS recently.
I now withdraw all bad comments and opinions about them, unreservedly(ish).
I had something of a need for them on Sunday and my thanks to all at St James & Leeds General Infirmary (except the trainee nurse at Jimmies A&E who didn't have a clue).
I now have a claim to fame!!!!
I played the ultimate captains innings in my cricket cup match on Sunday. With the wickets falling around me we needed 36 to win. I set about a spinner and hit a very rapid 31 not out for victory. Nothing too special apart from the fact I was having a heart attack at the time (I swear it is true).
Ambulance after the match and the hospital(s) were great except as I was sat in the A&E at Jimmies and the registrar went mad with a junior nurse who had me sat in a cubicle. He ranted at her to get me into Resus very quickly, and she blushed, looked at me and said "follow me", leaving me to walk the few dozen yards behind her into the resusitation rooms.
I think she was in a spot of bother afterwards.
Wonderful quacks at the LGI.
3 days and 1 angioplast later and I'm home!!
The NHS is fantastic, I won't have a word said against them (for a few weeks anyway) and I might have done enough to keep the captaincy when I return to cricket.
Not a bad weekend, all in all.

Bloody hell.

Couldn't you have walked to hospital Alan, instead of using valuable resources/polluting the atmosphere by going in an ambulance? Shame on you!

Take it easy, make sure 'er indoors gives you plenty of sympathy etc and, erm, lay off the cigs for a while, and leave me to drink a toast to a full recovery!

Steve

Been warned off over enthusiastic sympathy from the missus for a while :-(((
The ciggies are somewhat less frequent at the mo, but no doubt I will be nagged about that when the nurse comes to abuse me.
Quote of the week competitor;
Paramedic (in back of ambulance) "Are you having any kind of panic attack, Alan?"
Me, "Not yet, I haven't seen your qualifications, or the standard of your mates driving, but I'll let you know".
The wondeful thing about any illness is the opportunity to air ones humour.

By "etc" I meant cups of tea and weak soup, what else? ;o)

Nice quote!

"...leaving me to walk the few dozen yards behind her into the resusitation rooms..."

Sheesh! Hmmm? This stuff reminds me of a trip to the doctor's surgery quite a few years ago.....

"And when do you get the angina?"

"Well, Doctor, even sometimes in the evening, whilst I'm sat on the settee watching the telly."

"Well, just sit there and don't move, whilst I make a couple of phone calls."

About 10-15 mins later, having been lifted onto a stretcher and taken to the hospital, I'm in a bed the heart ward at the local hospital. A senior nurse and her assistant instruct me that I am not so much as to lift a finger as they proceed to unbutton my clothes.

"We need to test for enzymes in your blood. If they are present or not, then that will tell us whether you have actually had a heart attack or not.

Until we get the result, we will assume you actually have had a heart attack. If you have, well, in the short term the only thing we can instruct you to do is to rest your potentially injured heart. It must not be exerted. You are not to move a muscle. Are you allergic to aspirin? No? Good. Please take these."

etc, etc.

Hells bells Alan - makes you appreciate what's really important i.e you won the match, but please don't ignore it.

Trying a few lifestyle changes here, partridge, like the good boy I am.
The quack suggested a more "Mediterranean" diet and lifestyle. When I commented that I am a master at sitting on terraces arguing, drinking enormous quantities of wine and smoking very high tar cigs, he suggested I was being facetious and said he meant tomatoes and olive oil.
So now I have much fewer cigs, less salt on my food and free range petrol in the car.
Funnily enough the consultant is a cricketer and understood my reactions perfectly. I asked when I could return to cricket. He said next season, until I told him who I played for and at what standard. He smiled and said I could play next week. ;-))

Best wishes from me Alan. No more rants just lie back and chill out!

Speedy recovery Alan. Keep up with your witty form, nothing like a smile on the face. Gus.

Thats the other good thing.
No-one now shouts at me for having an afternoon nap..........fantastic.
They say laughter is the best medicine, and it helps, but for a bad infection you just can't beat Penicillin.

HA
Would keep out of banking and housebuilding stocks for a while too.
Don't want too many anxious moments for the near future.
hope you have a speedy recovery.
Alex

Keep taking the tablets.
Speedy recovery.

I'm writing to someone in Wales who is called Non. M or F? Where's Dil? He'd know.