Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

what's that in the press about that skinny one who lost her voice

Oi!

you never miss a gag skinny...lol

You are a Gold Man AldoWarren Buffett asks all the gold in the world or half the properties in America.the value is the same.
Gold is a creation from The Man Above and is used by us as a moneyyou cant print it! the dollar was originally defined as a weight of gold1/20 of an ounce I believe
Building has roughly the same cost as the land it sits oncompletion on average sees the value more than double the building costs in my experienceAs the population increases land will inevitably soar in value.it will be a stronger currency than gold imogive me half the houses in America every time pleasebut I still wouldnt live there!!!I could be talking bo**ocks?but Gold dont look a great investment at the price?

yes but you can pack your bag's and take your gold with you and use it as a currency but you can't take a house with you and sell part's of it buy food ect:

Hmmmmmmm.you got me on that?

Hmmm?

Should we get into football?

Football Rich List - Players

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Blond top and tail?

Looks like a bottle-job, Jeff. A couple of the floozies in the ad have got dark eyebrows if you look closely.

Mascara

More likely peroxide imho.

I love the smell of peroxide in the morning...

The thing that makes me wander is why most
of the blondes I see, dye their hair roots dark.

That just goes to show the difference between men and women - I know a couple of dark haired men who dye their roots blond!

Yes it pays to look at things from more than one perspective, even if we are not being entirely serious!



Interesting concept.

I wonder if tolerance is a one sided deal.

I am perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built near Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant.



The mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose, that two gay nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance within the mosque.

We could call the clubs "The Turban Cowboy" and "You Mecca Me So Hot".





Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and have an open barbeque with spare ribs as its daily special.



Across the street a very daring lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret⤝ with
sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.


Next door to the lingerie shop, there would be room for an Adult Toy Shop (Koranal Knowledge?), its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store, maybe call it "Morehammered"?

.

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:


1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23... very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42 . dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes



HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring beer

Unless she's Beth Ditto

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress 5000. Suit rental-100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is 8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.