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THE TALK TO YOURSELF THREAD. (NOWT)     

goldfinger - 09 Jun 2005 12:25

Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

bosley - 25 Jul 2006 16:51 - 4870 of 81564

alan, why would you be driving through a city centre at 3am? very suss .......but you've probably got an innocent explanation ;)
i do agree with you fully on town planners and their idea of traffic calming/improvement schemes. the oh-so-clever people at bolton council came up with this wonderful idea of making part of the pavements jut out halfway into the road, forming parking bays. so far , so good. they then "improved" matters further by painting yellow lines in the parking bays!!! on one street in particular, residents now have to move their cars by 7.00am or they will be booked for the crime of parking in a parking bay right outside their own front door. needless to say, these measures have proved to be very popular !!

jimmy b - 25 Jul 2006 16:59 - 4871 of 81564

Which brings us back to traffic wardens , they have done all those type of so called improvements in my area and employed another 30 wardens to enforce it , ,,and they do,, like little Hitlers .

Marc3254 - 25 Jul 2006 17:16 - 4872 of 81564

I firmly believe that people who become traffic wardens are frustrated leaders. They didnt have the confidence to lead people so they work enforcing pathetic rules to the letter of the law, to make themselves feel better.

hewittalan6 - 25 Jul 2006 17:17 - 4873 of 81564

Touched a nerve here.
I think we should use traffic wardens instead of Animal vivisection. It would stop all the protests and be a very popular move.
We could even re-introduce fox hunting by allowing hounds and horses to chase traffic wardens through town centres and rip them to pieces.
This would be a great spectator sport, and my nomination for spectator would be the guy in West Yorks who is responsible for the sighting of speed cameras. He could be forced to watch by a big bloke with hairy knuckles and badly spelled tattoos, who could mutter things like, "see what happens to people who persecute motorists".
I'm warming to the idea.

soul traders - 25 Jul 2006 19:34 - 4874 of 81564

Bos, you've reminded me of what I think should be a crime deserving the death penalty: passing laws or regulations that make the world a worse or more confusing place. I therefore call for: 1.) mass genocide of town planners for indecent deployment of traffic-calming measures (with an "aggravated" offence where such has led to the death of anybody unfortunate enough to have been kept waiting unnecessarily for the emergency services); 2.) a putsch in the German government for the balls-up that is the recent health reform (this one is a little close to home after my gorgeous ex had to leave hospital still in pain, bleeding and nowhere near recovered from the two surgical operations she had three weeks ago, thanks to recent changes in the regulations concerning hospital stays. And before you ask, no, the ops were not for silicone enhancements!).

I've got lots more ideas but will have to get back to you.

Marc3254 - 26 Jul 2006 10:51 - 4875 of 81564

After reading these comments i am more and more convinced that a new political party must be formed. I will being compiling the manifesto on a new thread called the 'Common Sence Party'. Feel free to add any laws you think needed scrapping, ammending or introducing. I have no doubt that the average person could do a better job of organizing the country and getting our laws sorted so were not the laughing stock of the world.
How wild your idea is, is up to you remember were only competing against Blaire's reactive timid cowards.
Get creative and we'll see if we can get a complete manifesto.

soul traders - 26 Jul 2006 11:26 - 4876 of 81564

Since I have strong feelings about issues affecting other countries in the EU, I offer myself as MEP candidate.

hewittalan6 - 26 Jul 2006 11:36 - 4877 of 81564

Since I have strong feelings about creaming a fortune out of private businesses and perverse sexual practices (I can't get enough of either) can I be an MP?
Alan

jimmy b - 26 Jul 2006 11:41 - 4878 of 81564

No Al , as you failed to metion other qualities ,such as infidelity ,corruption, lying , and using public money for your own use ,i don't think you make the grade.

hewittalan6 - 26 Jul 2006 11:44 - 4879 of 81564

I'm trying to hush those up!!!

Marc3254 - 26 Jul 2006 11:47 - 4880 of 81564

No problem gents -we will need MP's the more corrupt the better - then you'll fit right in, in parliment.
I think were suposed to be quiet about sexual perversions until elected and then leak them to the press to get more exsposure. Stick your names on the board with the area you would like to be MP for.

hewittalan6 - 26 Jul 2006 11:49 - 4881 of 81564

MP for the breweries for me, please.
And can i be party Vice Chairman, so that all the vice has to be tried by me first??

bosley - 26 Jul 2006 12:20 - 4882 of 81564

could i be mp for music. then i could get a law passed so that all that loud, pounding shite played by wanker, 19 year old, corsa driving, hoodie wearing dickheads will be banned.

hewittalan6 - 26 Jul 2006 12:26 - 4883 of 81564

I commend that proposal to the house. Can I suggest a punishment for the offence of having a Sony walkman containing Barry Manilow and Des O'Conner - the complete works stapled to their ears.

Marc3254 - 26 Jul 2006 12:30 - 4884 of 81564

bos and hewittalan6 i have taken the liberty of pasting you comments above on the other thread so when i write the final manifesto and place MP's in I dont miss your requests.

bosley - 26 Jul 2006 13:54 - 4885 of 81564

cheers marc. alan, why not just staple their ears?

chocolat - 26 Jul 2006 13:57 - 4886 of 81564

What - so they don't waggle up your nose when you hug a hoodie?

bosley - 26 Jul 2006 14:12 - 4887 of 81564

you going on about my nose again????

chocolat - 26 Jul 2006 18:42 - 4888 of 81564

No way.

hewittalan6 - 27 Jul 2006 08:15 - 4889 of 81564

Think I've got something horrible and life threatening this morning. Coughing, sneezing, running a temperature similar to that of a British Steel blast furnace and i'm shaking like a member of Hezbollah, backstage at a Barbara Streisand concert.
Not a well man.
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